Babies!

His mother's eyes,
His father's chin,
His auntie's nose,
His uncle's grin,
His great-aunt's hair,
His grandma's ears,
His grandpa's mouth,
So it appears...
Poor little tot,
Well may he moan.
He hasn't much,
To call his own. -Richard Armour

When I was born I was so surprised I
didn't talk for a year and a half -Gracie Allen.

Now why did you name your baby John? Every
Tom, Dick, or Harry is named John. -Samuel Goldwyn

My wife wanted to call our daughter Sue, but I felt in
my family that was usually a verb. -Dennis Wolfberg

A soiled baby with a neglected nose cannot be conscientiously
regarded as a thing of beauty. -Mark Twain

Men who have fought in the world's bloodiest wars....are apt to
faint at the sight of a truly foul diaper. -Gary D. Christenson

One of the most important things to remember about infant care
is: never change diapers in midstream. -Don Marquis

Babies leak. From both ends. -Bruce Lansky

First-time parents never miss a single feat.
They film it, note it in The Book, and shout it in the street:
'He smiled today! Had four BMs! He spit up on the cat!'
'He got a tooth! He slept all night - can you imagine that?'

But second-timers note the facts and take each one in stride:
'He's learned to take his diaper off - you'd better step aside.' - Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz

Taking care of a baby is easy - if you have
nothing else to do. -Bruce Lansky

People who say they sleep like babies
usually don't have them. -Leo J. Burke

Shameless plug - Watch History Essay of Mine ;-)
You know that having a baby has drastically changed your
life when you and your husband go on a date
to Wal-Mart on double coupon day. -Linda Fiterman

I always wondered why babies spend so much time
sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. -Robert Orben

If you think it's easy to take candy away from
a baby - you should try it. -Henny Youngman

When your first baby drops her pacifier, you sterilize
it. When your second baby drops her pacifier
you tell the dog 'Fetch.' -Bruce Lansky

Whatever is on the floor will wind up in your baby's
mouth. Whatever is in your baby's mouth will wind up on the floor. -Bruce Lansky